What do you really want? Part I.

Yea so I've been meaning to do this more often, but I've been caught up, lol 

I wanna talk about being a Virtuous woman of God in this season of being single. I realized as single women, we pray and ask for things that we are not ready for. We pray with the wrong intentions. I'm not saying all of us do. Some of you have it together. But for those of us who don't, I'd like to address you today. 

I understand that this season is challenging. However, there are things that God wants you to learn during this time. He wants to mold you into the woman He desires you to be. Not only that, He wants you to trust Him. You might be thinking, "what does he want me to learn? I'm a good person already, why can't I have my mate? I already trust Him, but He's taking to long...what is He trying to mold me into?"

Let's look a little further...

Proverbs 31 gives us a good overview of the kind of woman and wife God desires us to be. "This woman has strong character, great wisdom, many skills, and great compassion." She is a great mother and wife. The most important thing about her is her loyalty and admiration for God.

...So lets start with the most important question...DO YOU LOVE GOD?

As stated before, this is the most important quality in the virtuous woman. How we live and act, shows where we are in our relationship with Christ. God said if we loved Him we would keep His commandments (meaning abiding by His word, and His will for our lives). Does our actions say we love Him? If we are not faithful in our relationship with Christ, how can we be faithful to His blessing (i.e. your future husband)? 

God hasn't even held your attention long enough to show you how to love unconditionally. Learn to love God with your everything, and He'll show you how to love! That way you will be ready, when He brings the man that is supposed to be in your life.

..Bottom line, your lifestyle should display how much you love Him. Keep Him first. :-)


2. Next, what kind of traits make up our character? Are you honorable? 

• One definition of honorable is: worthy of honor and high respect. We have to be conscience of what we do in this season. Alot of us want a husband, but will be found in the strip club every weekend. Is supporting women degrading themselves honorable? Do you think the man God has for you will respect you for that? 

• How does the way we dress reflect righteousness? This is something that I am always asking myself, because my wardrobe is a battle. I love crop tops, and sometimes the dresses I wear can cause someone of the male species to fall into sin, lol It's okay to dress cute, and be sexy....but as women of God, we have to learn to give a little and take a little back. Leave a little mystery.

3. Do you value yourself?

• Sometimes I wonder if we even know how precious we are. God has a special place in His heart for His daughters. He doesn't want you to go after any man. He wants you to realize you are worth the wait and chase.
• God said, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord." *Proverbs 18:22*
1.  It says WIFE. Meaning you need to be a wife before he "finds" you. Make sense? (think about the qualities that a Godly wife has....)
2. As a woman, it is not your responsibility to CHASE or PURSUE any man. We are under the impression now that we have to be aggressive, "go after what you want".... can you tell me where in God's word He told you to do that?
3. Also "find" can also mean, what the man God has for you sees in you. Meaning, he finds his wife in you. He loves the qualities he's found in you.

• Also, He doesn't want you to give your body to every guy you date. You may say "I don't sleep with every man I date, just the ones I am in a relationship with or the ones I really like." Welllll sorry to burst all of our bubbles, but God wants you to become one with ONE man. The man He has assigned to you. Isn't it awesome that God created someone just for you? Keep that in mind next time you find yourself having a "sleepover". If He aint the one (meaning your husband), get up and go home. Aye I'm talking to me too!

4. Are you trustworthy? Are you kind? What's on your lips (life or death)?

• People should be able to trust you, especially the man who will be your husband. Will his thoughts be safe with you? 
• Kind: "of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person". Being loving and encouraging. Know when to speak and when to listen.
• What kind of words do you speak? There is power in words. They have the power to uplift or destroy. They can kill spiritually and mentally. Lets make sure we speak life into everyone and everything around us!

I want "us" to start focusing on God, ourselves, and what He needs us to accomplish in this season! Our desire to become virtuous women should not be driven by the fact we want to have a companion. It should be driven by our love for God, and wanting to become better individuals! In due time you will reap, and God will give you the desires of your heart! 

There could possibly be a part II to this blog, but these few thoughts were on my heart to share. I pray it helped, encouraged, or put some things in perspective for you! Love yall!

-Ms. Cunningham

Enjoy The Challenge...

So I decided to start blogging because I realized I'm not the only one going through changes. Change is so hard to deal with some times. Especially when you have no direction on what to do next, after the change....if that makes sense, lol

Let me tell you a little bit about me. I recently finished up at Wayne State University, getting my degree in Psychology. When I first came to WSU, I was bright-eyed and bushy tailed, expecting to become the female version of Ben Carson. I wanted to be a Doctor, save and heal the world, one life at a time!  What I didn't know, is that God had a different plan on how He would use me in terms of saving and healing lives.

I have always had a passion for helping others. I loved mentoring, discussing personal issues (not to be nosy) and figuring out solutions. I always say that if I can help someone see that Life is worth living, not to give up but to keep going, then I've accomplished something. I get some type of fulfillment out of giving others help and hope. Unfortunately I had the mindset, "I cant make enough money doing this, so I'll just go to med school." That's a dumb reason NOT to do something you love looking back on it. I was going to waste thousands of dollars on school, doing something that deep down inside I really didn't want to do. But hey, money was the motive.

I went through college thinking I was "supposed" to do something in the medical field, while God probably sat back and thought, "When is she going to realize, she can't run from what I put in her." Ahhhhh so alas, I came to the conclusion, I wanted to stick with Psychology. Originally I changed my major from Bio to Psych, because I wanted to hurry up and graduate with something that was easy and would allow me to still go to medical school. I didn't know that God was just setting me up. So, anyway, like I said I wanted to stick with Psychology. But what did I want to do with it? I know I wanted to open up my own practice one day, but what about now? The road to getting there. School counseling is how I would get there.

I have always been passionate about youth. Mentoring, building relationships, helping teenagers avoid some of the things my friends and I went through. I'm all about helping some one be better. I even started a Teen Ministry at my church (Empowering Disciples Church, look us up, we live! lol). I realized that this is what God put in me, and if I don't make as much money as a MD, so what. My gift WILL make room for me.

So I'm at a point in my life where, I know what I want to do but the road to getting there seems so tedious. I have a degree, but yet I'm working two part-time jobs trying to make ends meet and I need a full-time job; I'm trying to find a school to go to so that I can get my Teaching certificate (Yes I want to be a teacher guys, before I start my counseling program :-) ) but I wasn't the best student in undergrad so that is making this process a little bit harder. So frustrating.

So today, I just cried out to God, like "Okay, I know what I'm supposed to do, You gave me a vision, but God why is it so hard! I'm in a rut, trying to do what you put in me to do, get me outta this!"I sat for about ten minutes. I was just still, quiet, didn't say anything, just wanted to hear God. I realized that I can't help my teens if I haven't struggled a little bit. Everything that I am going through right now, is not just for me. There is no testimony with a test. And then I ran across this:

Look at God. Something had been telling me to open this book, but I was being rebellious. Well God, I'm going to enjoy this challenge. You are allowing it! You allowed everything that happened up to this point! It is molding me into the Woman of God, the Leader you called me to be. James 1:2-4 says: "² Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. ³ For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. ⁴ So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." 


So I want to encourage whoever is reading this. Whatever challenges you are facing right now, count it ALL Joy. I know it will ALL work out for our good. Enjoy the CHALLENGE! 

-"Ms.Cunningham"